Mother's Day and Due Date

Sometimes I accidentally tell people that Simon's birthday is May 12th because that was his due date. We all know that it's just an estimation date - but you tell people this date over and over again when you're with child - that the date just sticks in your brain. I remember being so upset last year on Mother's Day - which fell on the 13th - because my little one was still enjoying his stay in Hotel de la Uterus. 

I remember it being the only time I cried during my pregnancy - I really wanted little Simon to come on out and meet us. I found this photo of Mother's Day last year - which Tom sweetly made me a breakfast - but I was just not excited about it. It wasn't the same without a babe in my arms.

 {Y'all, this look says it all. I'm tired. I'm huge. Where's my baby?}

All this being said, Simon was born just six days later after an evacuation notice when they broke my water due to no amniotic fluid. I was thinking about it this morning - thinking about motherhood - in that my first mother's day with a baby marks my first year as a mother. It's been easier and harder than I expected. We've been incredibly blessed with a well-dispositioned baby who loves to laugh, eat, and sleep. {He isn't cranky unless he's tired, hungry, teething, or has a dirty diaper}. As far as first babies and newborns go - I think we were blessed majorly and are SO incredibly thankful for our first little baby who made us parents.  Having a baby has been easier than I expected.

What I didn't expect and don't feel like anyone ever told me - is just how hard it would be to be a mama - both physically and even more so mentally and emotionally. Caring for someone 24/7 without any pay is really difficult when I've been able to be so selfish my whole life. Babies need a lot of care and attention - and I remembered just wanting to cry those first few months- What about me? What about my needs? There isn't anything other than motherhood that has revealed just how selfish my heart truly is. It's a difficult task to meet contant and daily needs of someone else. I think parenting, just like marriage, is part of God's sanctification of us. Slowly we are becoming more like Him, learning to truly serve and care for others - changing the way our hearts want to be into how they aught to be. Motherhood has also helped me to better understand God's love for me as His child - the way He cares for me and loves me.

I've often thought that there should be pre-parental counseling - in the way that we went to pre-marital counseling  But then it probably will be like pre-marital counseling where you learn about all the hard things about marriage and think, "that'll never happen to us" --- "we're better than that" etc. 

All this being said - I have loved being a mom - there's nothing that compares to it - nothing that can prepare you for it. Simon has been a gift of joy to me {us} - I can't imagine my life without him. After-all, I have decided to homeschool for college - that says something, right?